Cycling Jokes!

Here's a few to pass the time until you get out to ride later. These and more (including the dirty ones) can be found on Team Estrogen's site.

You Know You're Addicted To Cycling When...Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.
A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.
You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.
You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...
You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.

---

Border Crossing
A man on a bike, carrying two sacks on his shoulders, was stopped by a guard while crossing the US-Mexican border.
"What's in the bags?" asked the guard.
"Sand," the cyclist replied.
"Get them off. We need to take a look."
The guard emptied the bags and found out they contained nothing but sand. The man reloaded his bags and continued across the border. A week later, the same man was crossing again with two more bags. The guard demanded to see them, and again they contained nothing but sand. This continued every week for six months, until one day the cyclist failed to appear. A few days later, that same guard ran into the cyclist in the city.
"Hey, where have you been?" the guard asked. "You sure had us wondering! We knew you were smuggling something across the border. So tell me and I won't say a word. What was it?"
The man smiled and told him the truth. "Bicycles!"